You are your habits, simple as that. Don’t like what/who that is change your habits, your patterns. You might need assistance and or support but change ’em. No one is an island. Its about causality, not wither you are ‘good’ or ‘bad’ , weak or strong, old or young. To change the effects change the causes even and especially if it means putting yourself into situations that will bring out in you and forge the person you want to be. In time the new patterns will determine who you unfold to be. We are all a dynamic effect of numerous causes. That is a challenge, sometimes sobering sometimes liberating… it is also a opportunity. Don’t think this is limited to sinew and form of body, or things you can do, this is even more so frame of mind and thought. Change your mind about who you are > change your habits > change who you are. Perceive Behave Become.
I think the earth and wind and rivers and rock are wholly natural and amazing emergent phenomena of a wondrous numinous universe from which we too have emerged and evolved into one of many conscious creatures able to profoundly love and appreciate our very own and only true home.
“was once in a church where they told me to shun the world of things, the world of decay and physicality. They said to think only of the immortal afterworld, a place I could not see or touch. Even then, I believed they were wrong. I was too in love with wind and rivers and rock.” -Craig Childs
It is true 99.9% of the time, the hard way, the difficult way, the tough challenge is the right thing to do, the wisest, smartest, the ethical. Embrace your difficulties to be free of them, take them head on. If you can’t do it you must do it. Otherwise they will master you and take you down. There is no fleeing them. ‘The hard way is the true way’ ~ Dogen